Out driving today, I saw in the distance a big banner draped from a home’s front deck that read “Pro-Choice.” As I got nearer, I could see the banner also included a little graphic of a worker on a roof, presumably shingling, because under that it said, in small font, “Roofing.” So, it was a business called Pro-Choice Roofing.
That strikes me as an odd choice, given that the terms pro-life and pro-choice have, since the 1970s, been the brands of either side of one of the most contentious issues in America. I’m not sure if roughly half of the potential business for that roofing company is out the door, but certainly some of the business is off the table immediately. Especially because they evidently hang a big banner up on your property that says Pro-Choice while they’re roofing the place.
I guess the implication is that this company is the one that pros choose, but what homeowner is a pro when it comes to roofing, or of even knowing anything about it? One summer during college, I worked for 3 weeks as a roofer. It was one of the most grueling, hand-bloodying, black tar sizzling jobs I’ve ever had. I started chewing tobacco for the first time in my life while I was up on those roofs, a big wad of it in my cheek, just to feel something other than what I was feeling while doing that work. Mostly it made me feel dizzy and sick to my stomach, but even that was better than roofing. It’s the only job I’ve ever quit because it was too hard.
In any case, there are probably a whole host of poor names to choose for a business if you’re looking to take social and political sides. Trickle-down Ergonomics might be a poor business name. Woke Bowling might only bring in a certain crowd. Liberal Lover’s Boutique could turn some people off, while Cupid’s Conservative Fantasy Gifts probably wouldn’t turn anyone on.
It surprises me to some extent that certain brand names have escaped recent malignment, given the current state of America’s take-sides culture. I’ve yet to see anyone boycotting Transformers, for example, but it would not surprise me to see a demand made to re-brand the toy to Changeformers, or maybe Alchemybots. Maybe it’s because the toy robots didn’t need to use bathrooms. Or perhaps there was simply no humanity within them worth degrading.
Disney has been taking it on the chin lately from the state of Florida’s Republican governor, so an emissary to appease the conservative right might be in order. You could send Eeyore, but I’d fear for his safety, given he’s a close relative of the symbol of the Democratic party. And Dumbo might also set the wrong tone. Buzz Lightyear was already in trouble recently, so he’s out. Goofy seems about right… but I think the best choice of all would be to send a big honey pot full of Poo… as in Winnie-the. Nothing could be sweeter.
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