-
Continue reading →: Relationships and consensual spreadsheets
Mondays always feel like an existential crisis, and even more so if your weekend didn’t go as planned. The truth is, I accomplished very little this weekend, unless you consider the ending of a relationship an accomplishment. In which case, I accomplished that. But even that accomplishment I can’t claim…
-
Continue reading →: Chips & Salsa + unreasonable fear and overly aggressive self-defense
Has anyone ever finished a jar of salsa, or does one after another get pushed to the back of the fridge, until one day you open a jar and see that it is now a petri dish, mold and all, confirming your suspicions and allowing you to finally toss it…
-
Continue reading →: Adorable plants that commit murder
It’s plant buying season, and not just outdoor plants or plants for the garden, but indoor plants, too. After every winter, several of my houseplants inevitably give up trying to survive in what is at best a hostile environment. They have too much water, or not enough. They get no…
-
Continue reading →: My skeleton
Every night I go to bed I put my skeleton in the closet. I hang it up like a pair of slacks that you don’t want to wrinkle. Were I to leave it in a heap on the floor, it might develop kinks. I could find myself waking in the…
-
Continue reading →: A lazy, unimaginative wish
A white squirrel used to live in relative proximity to my yard. The last couple of years I’d see him once every few weeks or so, but the last week I’ve seen him much more frequently. I’m not sure what changed for him, but now he hops curiously or scurries…
-
Continue reading →: When it comes to shoes, there is no sale in laces
Today I started to notice little green buds tipping off on trees. The sun was out and it felt like spring. A white squirrel tip-toed his way to a bird bath outside my back porch and helped himself to some water. Surely that’s a sign. That this is real spring. …
-
Continue reading →: The World Wide Boob Web turns 30
NPR says that on April 30, 1993, something called the World Wide Web launched into the public domain, the brainchild of Tim Berners-Lee, a researcher in Switzerland at CERN, now known for its particle accelerators. I was a freshman in high school in 1993, but I don’t recall using the…
-
Continue reading →: An open letter to General Mills re: Lucky Charms
General Mills, Inc.P.O. Box 9452Minneapolis, MN 55440 From: Adam D. Overland* Dear General Mills,Over the years, I’ve written many a letter to you requesting the revision of your product Lucky Charms. All requests have been ignored. I have been as polite as possible, but your steadfast resistance to my requests…
-
Continue reading →: The first fart
Farting is likely the oldest joke in the world, one told by humans and our ancestors since perhaps even before we were able to communicate with each other through symbols or language. Before fire even, there were farts. When someone farts, at least when it’s a friend or family member,…
-
Continue reading →: Cupid’s Conservative Fantasy Gifts
Out driving today, I saw in the distance a big banner draped from a home’s front deck that read “Pro-Choice.” As I got nearer, I could see the banner also included a little graphic of a worker on a roof, presumably shingling, because under that it said, in small font,…
-
Continue reading →: ‘I could just lay down in there and not get up again’ + High-yield savings accounts
Today I opened 3 different bank accounts. The first was with Apple because they came out with a savings account that pays over 4% interest. It was all over my news feed, so I felt pressured. Then, because I’d started looking and was going down the rabbit hole, I found…
-
Continue reading →: April 13 – Buttermentally conscious
It’s gotten warm enough in my house over the last two days of 80 degree temps that the butter is easy to knife into and spread on toast. I think that is a pretty good way to judge about how warm you should keep your house to be both environmentally…
-
Continue reading →: Put me in a burlap sack when I die
A turkey ran through my yard this morning. It seemed confused, hung out in the back corner for a while, then hopped the fence into the neighbor’s yard. It was somehow incredibly exciting, which made me think my life must really be going downhill. Last night the Timberwolves made 12…
-
Continue reading →: Spring is for the birds
I changed out the dirty winter snowmelt in a couple of bird baths in my yard today, and within the hour birds had heard the news and were stopping by for a shine. A female cardinal was quickly dipping her head and flapping like mad to get under her armpits,…
-
Continue reading →: April 10 – Of all the legacies to leave behind, I think a bench is a good one
After just a couple days of extraordinarily nice temperatures, the snow is nearly gone from places where it wasn’t piled high. But in parking lots, mountains of snow will melt like glaciers for weeks yet, leaving behind all the litter that was scooped up with it: cans, bottles, wrappers, bags,…
-
Continue reading →: My whole body is sore today
Easter was always a favorite holiday of mine growing up. It had all the ingredients of a perfect adventure, the key one being a treasure hunt. My mom and dad would hide a basket for each of us kids, and that basket contained treasure; namely, a bunch of unhealthy candy.…
-
Continue reading →: April 8 – I can replace shocks if I have to
I changed the oil in my truck, the first time I’ve done so with the new rig–a 2020 Ford F150. What usually took me 15 minutes with my Toyota took me two hours with this one, partly because I didn’t look at the engine diagram closely enough and I removed…
-
Continue reading →: That dog is better than me at running
As life has gone on, my opinion of myself has slowly improved. I think a lot of people who knew me when I was younger probably thought that I thought more of myself, but that wasn’t the case. I guess I hid it well. Now, my opinion of myself has…
-
Continue reading →: Stat attack!
When I began my trip I wasn’t sure what it would bring. My goals were few, but significant: I wanted to get away from a couple months of winter in Minnesota; I wanted to get out of my usual routines; and I hoped to try to start writing for myself…
-
Continue reading →: Two things in life are certain: Taxes and Arby’s
I did my taxes today, and I was thinking I’d be getting some money back, and depending on how much that was, I was planning on heading to Arby’s or a restaurant of equal quality afterwards to treat myself, and possibly even a friend. But instead of getting money back,…
-
Continue reading →: Getting by on beanwiches
Tonight I began the process of restocking my cupboards, which were bare because I cleaned them out when I left and I was gone for over two months. I like to keep enough food on hand at any given moment to withstand at least a two-week siege, whatever form that…
-
Continue reading →: April 2 – Remember to take your pillow
There is a written list on my kitchen counter, compiled before I left, each item checkmarked across the board—a list completed. I had reminded myself to unplug something or other, to remember to take my pillow, to turn off the water, and not to forget the coffee maker (whatever you…
-
Continue reading →: April 1 – Goodbye winter. Hello spring.
The sun is bright and full and beautiful today. It snowed 8 inches last night in Robbinsdale, a pure white snow that reflects the brightness in every direction, bringing it from all angles so that you can’t help but squint. I went to bed sick and I woke up sick,…
-
Continue reading →: March 30 – Please enjoy Arby’s
I just enjoyed Arby’s at a Love’s truck stop/gas station all-in-one extravaganza in Cameron, Missouri. They even have electric RV spots at this Love’s—5 of them, for around $40 a night. Not more than 5 miles away is a state park, so I don’t know why you’d choose to stay…
-
Continue reading →: March 28 – No gas bill
Small town, rural life is different from life in a city. That goes without saying. Life on a farm, which typically revolve like satellites around small towns—near them but not of them—is within another category all its own. My sister’s farm supplies its own natural gas from an oil well…





