humour
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Bury me under the pyramid
This week I saw the dentist, and for some reason—insurance probably, or to make you feel bad about both your teeth and your body—the hygienist took my blood pressure. Then she took it again, and then a third time, and then she said that I should probably call my doctor, like, today. After telling her… Continue reading
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I’m not a person who typically does things
I’m feeling a bit down the last few days, which is a little odd because I haven’t been pounding booze and the weather has been ok. Still, I’m prone to it and I think it’s because my trip is ending, and therefore it is the end of something, and goodbyes and endings always make me… Continue reading
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A traveler’s discontent: The midwest winter that never was
The suffering of my friends and the whole of Minnesota would increase my enjoyment of the warmer climes I currently inhabit. There’s just one problem. To see weather reports of winter back in Minnesota as I’ve traveled around the American Southwest in search of an escape from something that never really arrived in Minnesota this… Continue reading
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Girbly Snurf
Girbly snurf the Nibble-neebleturbly terf his snivel-sneevilnubermindly weedle bumbsget galumped inerbly sumbs. Toble tweeb inogle soubyoude ooh athrobble loubsnimble dwas his dwibble-dwibbiddle too, dwin gribble-grib. Teedle-twee upon de snerthgreeble-greeb unboden herthdamble dwayd onuder so-ithfib-slidle ombah uwee no-ith! -I thought of titling this poem “Syllabic Rhythm as Image,” and that’s what it is for me. An… Continue reading
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I figure there are about 10 billion pounds of boobs in the world
I’ve been in a funk for days, ever since those bastards robbed my campsite of, it turns out, $1,319, $81 short of my insurance deductible and therefore not reimbursable. But the paranoia they’ve left me with is the worst part. I’ve bought locks now for everything. I’ve locked my trailer hitch to my truck with… Continue reading
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I just got robbed while camping
Last night I got robbed on BLM land outside Joshua Tree National Park. I’d gone for a hike about 4 p.m., and after grabbing dinner I returned to my campsite at 7:45, so there were perhaps 90 minutes of darkness when it likely happened. I’m basically in a huge open flat area just east of… Continue reading
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The Writer’s Block
This whole neighborhood is littered with writers. My agent, always trying to inspire me, texts me: “As though some magic would happen, that some magnificence would spring forth from them, he began to move his fingers… Onto a world of white possibility now spilled ink, digital ink, not yet wet and realized, not yet dry… Continue reading
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The birds chirp in happy affirmation of my nakedness
This evening I took an outdoor shower. My Rpod camper has a shower head on the outside and it came with a little fabric pop-up shower that springs right up when you take it out of the bag—surprisingly roomy enough for 2-3 people if I can find some adventurous campers around. And if people aren’t… Continue reading
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Criteria for determining whether you are an adult
I’ve never really felt like an adult. I still feel mostly like a kid who has to do adult things like not have recess time on some days and make money to live. Meanwhile, there are people who seem very adultish to me, like doctors, who are saving lives, or people who govern and make decisions… Continue reading
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My Sheclopsborg is out there somewhere
The night sky at Big Bend National Park inspires awe and imagination. Sometimes here at Big Bend National Park I look up at the night sky, at the thousands of stars that I can see and the trillions and trillions that I cannot, and I think, “There’s someone out there somewhere for me. And she,… Continue reading
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Nothing burns as bright with the spirit of Christmas as a desiccated Douglas fir on fire
I can’t decide if it is more sad as a single 46-year-old man to put up a Christmas tree for the holidays or more sad not to. It helps me to think of it like an Onion headline: “Sad man erects Christmas tree and places present for self underneath” or “Single man who ‘needed time… Continue reading
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In support of a national ‘Trading Places Day’ as a solution to America’s rural-urban divide
The rural-urban divide in America is real, and it’s getting worse. That’s why we need a national “Trading Places Day” where urban residents switch places with rural residents. Hear me out. Most cities in America of any size vote liberal, while most rural areas vote conservative. In fact, as a general rule, the farther away… Continue reading
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Ask a financial advisor who is sick of your shit
Dear Advisor,I’m 49 and have $2.5 million in my 401(k) as well as $200,000 in a high-yield savings account. I earn $350,000 per year and put $35,000 of that in my 401(k)/403(b) plus a company match of 10%. I would like to retire at 57. Beginning at age 62, my wife and I will collect… Continue reading
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The chlorophyll will be destroyed – a fall missive
This is the last week of fall in most of Minnesota (and much of the Midwest). It comes every year, this last week, but rarely is it so definitive. An early cold spurt often causes some trees to give up a handful of their leaves too soon, leaving behind a thinning crown of only the… Continue reading
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I caught my wife in bed with the Dish Network guy and she tried to pawn it off as necessary to achieve a monthly discount
I’ve been struggling with what to write about the past several days because not much is happening in my life. I’m a single, 45-year-old man who lives a fairly leisurely existence. I work, I take walks, I fish, I workout, I cook, and I generally enjoy my life, but it doesn’t make for great material. … Continue reading
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Deep thinks, by a guy who really loved Jack Handey (part 2)
This post is the promised second part in a two-part series that might become a three-part series (because I have a lot of them) about how when I first started using Facebook around 2008, I just posted various jokes and one liners, many of them potentially inappropriate for the medium, if there is such a… Continue reading
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Deep thinks, by a guy who really loved Jack Handey
When I first started using Facebook in about 2008, I had no idea what an online social network was nor why I would ever have a use for one. But I worked in internal communications for a university and my boss at the time suggested I try it out and see if there might be… Continue reading
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So go on, ask your doctor if naps are right for you
I think that there are nap people, and non-nap people, and while I’d rather be a member of the nap people, I’m definitely a non-napper. I probably take fewer than 10 naps per year, whereas I have friends who take naps almost daily. At a happy hour recently the subject of naps and how great… Continue reading
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The World Wide Boob Web turns 30
NPR says that on April 30, 1993, something called the World Wide Web launched into the public domain, the brainchild of Tim Berners-Lee, a researcher in Switzerland at CERN, now known for its particle accelerators. I was a freshman in high school in 1993, but I don’t recall using the internet much in school. By… Continue reading
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An open letter to General Mills re: Lucky Charms
General Mills, Inc.P.O. Box 9452Minneapolis, MN 55440 From: Adam D. Overland* Dear General Mills,Over the years, I’ve written many a letter to you requesting the revision of your product Lucky Charms. All requests have been ignored. I have been as polite as possible, but your steadfast resistance to my requests has wrought an onslaught for… Continue reading
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The first fart
Farting is likely the oldest joke in the world, one told by humans and our ancestors since perhaps even before we were able to communicate with each other through symbols or language. Before fire even, there were farts. When someone farts, at least when it’s a friend or family member, you probably laugh. The laugh… Continue reading
About Me
I’m Adam. I’ve written humor columns for 3 print publications, so naturally that’s dead and here I am. For part of each year I travel to avoid Minnesota winters, writing about working from the road in my camper.