Today was a shockingly spectacular day on Hunting Island, except that there are these tiny biting bugs here, similar to gnats but more annoying and small enough to fit through the little holes in a typical window screen. They seem to have not heard of, nor care about, the superior repelling qualities of DEET.

Having left my screen door open with lights on inside after sunset, I would estimate that I now have several thousand of them taking up residence inside the camper. Ideally one of them might be an electrician, as I’m still having some issues. 

The bastards hassled me in the sunlight today too. Tomorrow I will hunt down a stronger mix of DEET, instead of the Diet DEET spray I have with me now. Perhaps something is available which can immediately give the co*ksuckers cancer, whereas I may be left to develop it several years from now, with only the sweet memory of their mass demise to comfort my flourishing tumors.

I was off work in time to enjoy an hour-and-a-half walk up and down the beach. I even did a few sets of air squats and jogged a bit. Although the campground is fairly full, very few people turned out for the sunset. A handful of us is all, with miles of beach to enjoy. And this beach still puzzles me a bit, being only a short distance by sea from Edisto. It’s so different, with few shells washed ashore, and much smaller waves. I think that’s the reason, in fact. On the distant horizon it looks to me like the waves are breaking far out from the beach, sabotaging their power before they can deliver the gold to me. 

On my walk I detoured through part of the state park grounds and happened upon a sign detailing the different varieties of shells one might find here, only to learn I’ve misidentified a whelk as a conch. There are no conches here—they prefer tropical waters. Upon further research I found that the whelk is evidently the state shell of Texas. And while the conch is an herbivore, the whelk is carnivorous, and even cannibalistic at times. Altogether much more fearsome than a conch. Now that’s just classic Texas. I also came across another sign about a tree, and it mentioned Elon Musk. You just can’t hide from that guy. 

This island is just beautiful. There are tent spots right near the beach, as well as a handful of cabins.

A whelk is not a conch!
Must Elon ruin this, too?

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One response to “Feb. 13 – With only the sweet memory of their mass demise”

  1. Bex Avatar
    Bex

    Diet DEET 😹😹
    See if you can find any left-spiraling shells!

    Like

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adam overland in front of a painting of a white squirrel

Hi. I’m Adam Overland, a writer based in Minneapolis. These are the meanderings of my muddled mind. I’ve written humor columns for various print publications, so naturally that’s dead and here I am, waiting for the last gasp.

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