I have just a few edits and comments for your consideration.

  1. This land is my land. This land is your (also my) land.
  2. In America you can be anything you want to be (cannot be trans, muslim, or anything outside of eggshell white).
  3. One of the greatest expressions of the American Dream is public higher education (8th grade).
  4. America serves as a model for democracy (lolololol!) around the world.
  5. You can own (rent) a home (your parents’ basement) with a white (love emphasis on white!) picket fence (electrified wall) and green, manicured lawn (asphalt [to further increase demand for oil + cannot spare water for lawns with AI data center build-out]) and retire (no retire) by 65.
  6. America is a beacon to the world and those longing to be free to pursue a life for themselves and their family, (make further economic contributions to billionaires) especially for immigrants and those fighting for democracy in their own countries (white South Africans).
  7. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion (Christianity), or prohibiting the free (mandatory political contributions) exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of (white people) speech, or of the press (Newsmax); or the right of the people (people of the right) peaceably to assemble and (storm the capitol), and to petition the government for a redress (receive $1.8 billion in payments) for grievances treason).
  8. Anyone — including a failed businessman and former reality TV star convicted of dozens of felonies including sexual assault, who inherited tens of millions of dollars and whose businesses filed for six bankruptcies, who misused funds from a charitable foundation to settle business disputes and purchase a portrait of himself — can someday grow up to be President of the United States (nailed it!)

Discover more from Waiting for the Last Gasp – Adam Overland

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Fediverse reactions

One response to “Suggested copy edits to the American Dream”

  1.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Adam

    Like

Leave a comment

adam overland in front of a painting of a white squirrel

Hi. I’m Adam Overland, a writer based in Minneapolis. These are the meanderings of my muddled mind. I’ve written humor columns for various print publications, so naturally that’s dead and here I am, waiting for the last gasp.

Discover more from Waiting for the Last Gasp - Adam Overland

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading