Ibuprofrend (to be performed as late 70s rap song)*

Let me introduce you to my friend Ibuprofen
He makes the pain say now C’mon let’s get go-ing
Round pill, oval, oblong, liquid gel
Get yourself a brown candy-coated pill to be feelin well

(chorus)
16 pills every 24 hours
Watch out for them kidneys man they gettin devoured
Ain’t no time to be stoppin
Don’t forget when you shoppin
When you feel like yer gonna drop
Pop that lid off and pop em

Swing my legs outta bed
Hold my head and start groanin
28 I felt great now 48 I am moanin
Unnh, I got a back ache
Unnh, I heard my ankle break
Knees crackin, neck hurts
Man I gotta go to work

16 pills every 24 hours
Watch out for them kidneys man they gettin devoured
Ain’t no time to be stoppin
Don’t forget when you shoppin
When you feel like yer gonna drop
Pop that lid off and pop em

Unnh
I’m tryin to get straight with the pain in my everything
But work is callin kids are bawlin nobody’s listenin
Advil, Motrin, Midal, Nurofen,
If it say N-S-A-I-D then it’s the same thing

So it’s 2-4-6-8 twelve hundred milligrams
Not to exceed thirty-two hundred milligrams
Pop one or two, three or four to be certain
Wearin that enteric coat keeps tummy from hurtin

16 pills every 24 hours
Watch out for them kidneys man they gettin devoured
Ain’t no time to be stoppin
Don’t forget when you shoppin
When you feel like yer gonna drop
Pop that lid off and pop em

Ibuprofrend
Ibuprofrend
Ibuprofrend
Ibuprofrend
Ibuprofrend

*Hopefully it is not too difficult for you to find a rhythm/beat to this, but if it is, I will be happy to perform it for you for a price*. That price may be as high as a paid Substack subscription, or it may be as little as a slice of pie.

Here is a little taste of my demo tape.